Story Time

SCORPION

I briefly mentioned in a previous entry that I had seen a snake by my latrine. Well wild creature number two is a scorpion. I’m hoping that this is the last one I’ll have to ass to the list.

Every Friday morning I take my 10k bike ride into the city to do my food shopping for the week and buy whatever random things I might need. About 3 weeks ago in my morning preparation before leaving for Kan Kan I had just finished bathing and dressing and was cleaning up a little. I had wiped down the furniture, swept and then went to put my worn night clothes in the laundry bag located in a corner behind my bed in between my two trunks and the wall of my hut. As I lifted up the bag, out of the corner of my eye I saw something move underneath. I looked down and sure enough there was a black scorpion about the length of the palm of my hand. My heat sank to the back o f chest, because this could turn into an ugly situation. Some scorpions are poisonous.

I was scared out of my mind, but I had to do something. So I grabbed my broomstick (this seems to be my weapon of choice. lol) and gave the scorpion a little push with the bristles, just as a test to see how fast it moves. Much to my surprise he barely moved. Maybe he was sick or something. I dunno. Anyway, because he barely moved I was thinking to myself maybe I can make this easy on myself and just step on him to kill him. But then my common sense kicked in, which obviously had been momentarily turned off while I thought of the brilliant idea of stepping on a live scorpion. He could sting me through my shoe.

I had to come up with plan B. So I thought to myself maybe I can push him into a can or something and drown him or throw him down my latrine hole. At the time is sounded like a magnificent idea, so I took one of my finished oatmeal cans, which was just wide enough that I could just push him in quickly. With my broomstick and can in hand I slowly approached the scorpion. I guess he found some strength from within because this time when I touched him with the bristles he scurried away. Therefore I proceeded to scurry out my front door. J

It was time to think of plan C. It would have to involve more people. So I called my nearest petite, Ningke the 5 year old, and acted out what I had just seen. He looked at me a little sideways and then smiled I guess thinking we were playing a game or something. But he figured it out. His mom was the only adult around, so I was thinking to myself , she can help me kill this thing. I showed them into my hut where the scorpion was hiding. She kind of stood there for a while and then she realized that I needed help. So she handed me a stick from outside and watched from the doorway while I was jumped around screaming trying to kill this thing. I had no luck, it was too fast. I went back outside and waited a couple minutes and thank God my host dad had arrived from the fields within five minutes. Sure enough he would save me. (and he did.) With a joint effort me with the flashlight flashing under the bed and him with the stick he was able to kill the scorpion. By the time the killing was finished I was waiting outside to see the dead scorpion. He brought it outside and explained to me that, there was no need to worry because that was a big scorpion and therefore less poisonous. I didn’t really care. A scorpion is a scorpion in my eyes, regardless of size, and I was just happy it was dead. I don’t know what I would have done without him.


SMOKING PETITES

As you all know I have five wonderful petites that live next door to me. I love them to death but somedays they drive me crazy. Like most kids they have tons of neighborhood friends that come over to play during the day. Sometimes they roll tires down the street with a stick (that’s a children’s favorite here. It’s so cute.) or the game of the day is let’s sit outside Madame’s house and see if we can get her to open her door for us.

This particular day I had just come back from school and had gone in my hut to chill out and eat before heading to my review session. I noticed on my way in the kids were sitting outside my door with a friend. So I said hi and gave hi five’s like a usually do and went inside to start cooking.

After about 30 minutes with my door shut I heard my kids saying “Madame! Madame!” like they usually do if my door is closed longer than 30 min. Usually I ignore them because all I want to do is eat and chill out in peace (I sound like the Grinch. lol) but for whatever reason I decided to check to see what the hype was all about. So I open my door, and in front of me I see my 4 year old petite, Ningké inhaling a cigarette. And Papissce the 8 year old was holding a lit cigarette in his hand. I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK!!! I stepped outside snatched the cigarettes and smashed them under my feet and yelled “ C’est pas bon!!” since that’s the only thing they understand in French. They looked at me kind of bewildered but I thought I had made myself pretty clear. I didn’t think to check to see if there was more, and I thought the situation was resolved, so I went back into my hut to continue what I was doing.

Within 5 minutes I hear an insane amount of coughing coming from outside. I immediately knew that they had tried again. I opened up my door and Ningké was about to cough up his lung. Papisse got the message the first time and was now pointing fingers as to who was to blame. I was floored. The friend had a pack of cigarettes in his hand. How they lit them, I have no idea. Clearly they didn’t understand the severity of smoking, so it was time for another game of sherades or more like a theatrical presentation where I had to demonstrate what would happen if they continued to smoke. Of course it was exaggerated but they got the point.

The other day I was walking down the street with Ningké and there was a cigarette butt on the ground. He picked it up and showed it too me and said, “C’est pas bon,” in his little voice and shook his head.

For those of you that might be wondering how the kids were able to get a hold of a pack of cigarettes and light them, it’s because there is no garbage disposal system here. All garbage is thrown and left in the streets so it is highly likely that the kids just found it on the ground and then lit them by a cooking fire that was going near by.

BARACK OBAMA

I’m sure you all are still on a high about the recent results of the presidential election. It’s definitely a historical moment for all of America to celebrate and be proud of. I can not even begin to describe to you how elated I was to hear the news.

Anyway, I’m not sure what they’ve been showing you all on the news about the international response to Barack Obama, but if you didn’t know, you know now that Africa loves Barack Obama; and Guinea, just as much as any other. Every time someone talks to me here, it is guaranteed that Barack Obama will come up in conversation. Sometimes when I walk the streets of Kan Kan people that know I’m American just yell BARAAACCCKKK OOBAAAAMMMMAAA! And then I just giggle to myself and yell BARAAACKKK OOBAAMMAAA back. It’s hilarious.

A couple weekends before the election day I was invited by one of my colleagues to attend a Barack Obama féte in town. Apart from the fact that the fete was for Barack Obama was I was excited to see how they get down in Guinea at a fete. And it would be a good bonding experience for me and my colleague. So that Sunday morning my friend Lansine (my only friend over the age of 10 at the time) and I biked to Kan Kan and met up with my colleague who showed us to the fete located at the end of town.

The whole time I was thinking to myself that this would be just us standing around watching people dance and listen to some good music. Haha! Not quite. We got the party location at around 9:30a so things were still warming up. There were about 50 or so people standing around, tons of children. The drummers were warming up their instruments on the side and there were a few people holding Barack Obama signs. It still hadn’t dawned on my that this was about to be a parade. Within an hour, somehow I was coerced into being in this parade. Everyone was so excited to have an Americainne Noir amongst them. So I was given a special seat in the truck with the drummers and “cheerleaders.” I have to say that I had an amazing time cheering for Barack Obama, and Guineans definitely know how to celebrate.

The parade lasted about 2 hours as we drove slowly through the streets of Kan Kan, drawing massive crowds of people. Every time we got to a major intersection everyone jumped out the cars and danced to the drums in the streets. It was so much fun. The “cheerleaders” I was with were great. Probably 2 of the happiest woman I’ve ever met in my life. They took care of me during the parade making sure I was able to participate and didn’t get swallowed in the crowd of people.

The day we heard the news I received an unbelievable amount of FALICITATIONS from my village. Every time I heard it, I had to smile. Good times.